Organic Half & Half

You know what else I love about the rain? It slows people down. Today it has poured once again and not only does it force people to drive slower but there is less activity outside. That was the case for me today as I lounged all day in tshirts and shorts, sipping on coffee, and fading in and out of a deep afternoon slumber. One of my top 50 things I love to do…sleep while its raining outside. As my world slowed down today I was forced to spend some time thinking. Thinking about the craziness of life right now and why I’ve been so worked up and stressed. In the midst of looking for answers a small little book spoke a lifetime of wisdom to my soul. The book is called The Best Question Ever by Andy Stanley and I heard about it through one of my lovely friends that I cherish in East Texas. She told me it was powerful, and only 50 pages into the red book, I knew she was right.

As I listened to the constant drum of the rain I couldn’t help but have many emotions fill my heart as I tried to process The Best Question Ever. Hurt and pain flooded fast as I recalled horrible decisions I have made. Frustration set in as I wish I had known about this many many years ago. And hope laid thick as I longed that I would learn to live by this truth from this day forward. All my life I have asked myself, “Is this right or wrong? Should I go this way or that way?” Rationalizing has become my expertise and digging myself out of hurt and pain has become a skill. This one simple question is better than all I’ve asked and if I truly allow myself to process it in every aspect of my life it could save me from all the regrets of where I’ve come from.

There is one thing we’ve all got in common. In small ways and in many gigantic ones we’ve screwed things up. I could write for 4 days, single space, in 8 point font on the many decisions I’ve made in my life that were idiotic and destroyed my heart, mind, emotions, and soul, and we’d arrive at my 17th birthday. We’d then have to spend another week as I typed into the wee hours of the night sharing gut wrenching stories of the people I’ve hurt with my words and actions during my adulthood. I share this because I pray for you the same thing I pray for myself. That I would find freedom from the many things that have destroyed me. My hope is that you’d go pick up this very short book and learn with me a way to look at our lives in a new fresh way. To ask ourselves a question that if processed right could bring us to a place of sweet renewal.

Now my only question is, will I be honest when I ask this question?

It has been the perfect summer weekend. We had our grand opening of the Bellagio A La Granny Bugs. Our group has called our spot at a sweet 88 year old lady’s home and we will chill with her all summer as we enjoy long dips in the pool and naps in the Costa Rican hammock. My buddy and I worked on the yard which I’ve come to enjoy more and more. There is something sweet about working the earth with your own bare hands and envisioning how big your tomatoes will soon be. As we ended our day drenched in sweat we sat in silence as the cool breeze came through the yard. I looked over my shoulder to see in the drive way my memory box on 4 wheels. My Camry just turned 10 with almost 200,000 miles and as I stared at my car and tried to remember who stole my Toyota emblem, a flood of memories rushed into my head…

I was a spoiled, 18 year old graduating senior when my parents told me I could pick out any car I wanted. I still remember how great my dad was, taking me around the car lots and test-driving all the cars with me. I special ordered a black V-6 brand new Camry with leather seats and wood grained interior. I still to this day have not thanked my parents enough for such an incredible gift. I drove it off the lot with 11 miles on it and hand washed it every 5 days. It now has been all over America and the closest I get to a wash is when I throw some liquid Joy on it before a heavy rain.

I35 from Waco to Dallas. I can’t tell you how many times I drove that route during college. The countless road trips all over Texas. It was our Freshman year when my friend K Day and I were driving back from Dallas to Waco at 9 at night and wanted some Waffle House. Our disappointment came when we realized Waco did not have a Waffle House. Our extreme disappointment came when Austin (110 miles south of Waco) didn’t either. IHOP in Austin just didn’t cut it and the drive back was miserable…but that is what memories are made of. Out of all my college road trips in the Camry driving back and forth from Dallas to Munford, TN (north of Memphis) has to be top on my list. It was the summer of 1999 that I ventured to small town Tennessee to make friends. And what resulted was a new family that I will cherish forever. Sweet tea, amazing bbq, homemade biscuits, and special conversations around the small kitchen table are just a few of my favorite memories. But better than the butter beans were the lessons I learned from Bobby O and Sweet Pam on how you love family. These are the places I’m thankful my Camry has taken me to.

During college is also when a group of us went to One Day in 2000 to worship in a field with 10s of thousands of people. That was the same year that Keas and I jumped in my black beauty to go see his sister in Chicago. Highlights of that trip were: wearing a karate outfit to a high end steak house, trying on dresses, and taking a picture of Keas naked in a corn field…don’t worry, I was amazing at my framing and positioning of the corn stalks

Big Sis and I were “big pimpin’ in NYC” as we cruised in the Big Apple a month before 9/11. I have a photo of the Twin Towers and can still remember saying, “See those buildings? It’s the center of Capitalism in the world today.” It was the first time I saw Broadway and from that moment forward NYC became my favorite city in the world. Most say the driving there is insane. I say, drive in Romania for a summer and Manhattan is a cake walk.

It’s crazy when I start to look back in my life. I can easily get gloomy about all the mistakes I’ve made or the “I wish I would have” moments in my life. But today I celebrate. I look back at 10 years of big smiles my Camry has given me. We have been to the mountains of Colorado and the countryside of North Carolina. The hill country of Texas, inner city of Philadelphia, Washington DC and even a cross into the border of Mexico. She’s got many gray hairs but I think she’s got 5 more years in her. My plan is to drive her until she goes dead and then park it in our drive way and let it collect dust like the neighbors do.

SB