“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him.”
There are those days where everything about this world just beats the shit out of me. It can be so scary and there seems to be so many answers I want but instead of getting that I find more and more questions. And the unknown scares me. I hate not knowing. I hate not having control of what is to come or what will happen. It is usually those times where the last thing on my mind is trusting. Trusting God can be the easiest thing to say or pray about and the hardest thing to truly believe in the heart. I know it is something I always struggle with. I fight with my future and I battle even more when things happen to me that bring me pain and not happiness. Maybe this is why we cling to joy. Who knows. I’m terrible at having the answers. I use to feel like I always had the answers. Maybe feeling like I have control or thinking I have the answers are just my false ways to feel better in a world that is so unpredictable. If I trick myself into thinking I can make it all happen then there is a mirage of hope I can cling to. And yet every time I do that I seem to put my hope into something that will ultimately fail me. That hope that fails me is the hope in myself or even the people around me. I wonder when I’ll learn. I often think that every time hardship comes and I grow that this is the time. This is the moment where I’ve finally learned to trust in God. Yet the next week only proves that my pride fools me into believing the lie again that I’m good enough and I can manage my life.
The beauty found in moments that are unpredictable is that you get to experience faith. Because when things are crazy in life you finally come to a place of letting go the reigns…you experience a feeling that is only found when trusting in yourself clashes with putting faith in a perfect God. I think in that trust, we find joy. And every frightening struggle in life that rocks our world is another opportunity to see this exciting part of being loved by God.
It seems so simple. Because I know the answer. To simply trust. To know God is Good and everything will be fine. Yet I seem to forget this simple truth every day of my life. Most of my life I have gotten frustrated with that. Mad because I’m such an idiot. But it seems to me today that the struggle I have shared is actually the privilege of the worship we experience on this world that we’ll not experience in the next.
SB
