We rationalize. We justify. We ignore. That’s how we deal with screw ups and anything we do that is not good. Anything that is not perfect. But until we face the ugly parts of our story we will never change. We will never grow. We will continue to stroll through life convincing ourselves that avoiding those uncomfortable things are what’s best for us. But in reality discovering the ugly is the only way to find beauty. The beauty that comes from truth.
What we do to others - it’s important to realize how we really impact people. As we stroll through life, we hurt and we help. It’s important to know how we do both. Have you ever asked your roommate or close friend what he or she doesn’t like about you? Tough question huh? But it’s in seeking that truth you uncover the ugly side. Your heart begins to really desire repentance and change for the way you hurt those you share life with. As you see the good you find joy and desire to continue those things that encourage.
What others have done to you - we know people hurt us. But we never really examine it. If we really processed how people have hurt us then we’d discover something so raw and real that it would change how we live. Because there is a simple fact of life - we hate pain. Eventually we come to a place (even if we don’t realize it) of avoiding the kitchen because the stove has burned us one too many times. The pain becomes so great we withold…we keep our true self hidden to avoid further hurt. This is where the cycle begins and being vulnerable scares the bejebbers out of us. Life is full of evil and pain. That will never change. But finding the courage to get back up is the difference between letting life happen to you and you living a passionate life.
Your attitude about God - if we are all honest with ourselves we don’t really trust God. I have at points been so mad at God that I was unsure of what I really believe in. That’s where things get exciting with my faith. It’s when I wasn’t afraid to feel. It’s when I wrestle inside with who God is and why it seems like He wants to screw with my life. In dealing with these real thoughts I try to desire Truth. I don’t want to be spoon feed American Christian propaganda but instead desire Truth. The kind that flips your world upside down. And thats when you encounter God in a special way. Because so far He’s showed me that He’s not afraid to get into the ring with me and deal with my doubts.
Below are some wise words and I hope that reading this will make you feel uncomfortable to the point of throwing up. To the point where you’ll desire change over being the same old self that avoids the ugly story within. I also hope that we never dwell in our ugly stories. Because the ugly is not what tells us who we are. Its the beauty that we find in the ugly that defines us. *By His stripes we are healed.*
“We must learn to tell the story of our lives - how we impact others, how we’ve been damaged by others, how we feel about God - in order to disrupt the sinful attitudes and paractices that still remain. Telling our stories requires us to face painful truths about ourselves. And once we’ve faced those truths, we will again feel the noble passions to love, to be, and to worship, passions planted in our hearts by God’s Spirit.” -L. Crabb
SB
